He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
