i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
