I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
