I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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