And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
