I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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