Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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