Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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