Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
