People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
