Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize