I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
