She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
