but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
sarcasm needs its own font
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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