no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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