Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
