you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
