I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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