My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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