found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
