On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
