do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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