so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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