Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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