it wasn't lemon gatorade
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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