But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Randomize
