Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
