im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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