apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize