Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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