So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
