I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize