Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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