Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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