We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
