im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize