thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
