the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
