she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
