its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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