Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
