Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
