i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
