You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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