this beer tastes like vomit already
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
