I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
