You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Houston, we have a squirter
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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