is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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