he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I could fuck to npr.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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