Non-Jews are for practice
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize