you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
