Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't deserve a penis
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
