I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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