So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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