Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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