2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
third nipple confirmed
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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