Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
