Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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