laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
